In memory of Andy

I know I have been gone from my blog for a while and I apologize. School has been keeping me extremely busy this semester and getting my grades to stay where they need to be has been hard work. I felt I needed to add a post though.

A few months ago I came across a book due to its very good reader rating. It wasn't a book that I was looking for, so I passed it by and payed no attention to it. However, over the next month I continued to come across this book, so finally I stopped and looked at the synopsis to see what all the fuss was about. The book is called "The Thirteen Reasons Why" and it is about a girl in high school that commits suicide, but before doing so she makes a collection of audio tapes that discuss the thirteen people that, for the most part, nudged her toward the end. The book looked interesting so I got it and added it to my collection where it has stayed for the last couple months. Finally yesterday I felt a need to take a break from studying so I opened the book and read it. Like the main character in the book, I found myself needing to reach the end of this girls story. When I finally made it I thought about my life and the things I have done that may have affected others. So often we interact with others on a daily basis without realizing the full effect just our presence has on someone. Whether positively or negatively there is nothing any of us do that does not affect someone else. This of course led me to yet another thought.

I had a very close friend in high school who committed suicide. If he had made tapes discussing those that altered his life to the point that he felt there was no escape, would I be on those tapes? I'm not saying I ever did anything towards him that I wish I hadn't done, or feel bad about in anyway, but was there something I did or didn't do that made him feel he couldn't come to me? My friend was not the typical person you think of when you think of someone that would commit suicide. He was not a loner that acted depressed or withdrawn. He actually had many friends, went to parties, and was constantly smiling and laughing. So what changed his mind about life?

This may be a depressing subject, but I encourage everyone to read this book. The author wrote the book intending it to be a suspense novel, but there is a very powerful message present, everyone matters. No matter who you are, or think you are, you matter to those around you and what you do creates a ripple effect that could eventually lead to a snowball effect. Read it for my friend and anyone you may have known that commited suicide.

Dreams

Many people believe that our dreams show us what is in our subconscious. Things that sometimes we are either unwilling to admit we desire, or things that we thought were resolved. I recently had a dream that made me realize that I have missed out on something I once assumed I would have. Over the years I had come to terms with the fact that due to certain situations beyond my control I would never have everything I once desired. Not getting everything I once wanted used to bother me, but I had long ago realized that it is really for the best, and I was okay with this and have become content.
I am not one to usually give up on something I truly want, but I am accustomed to compromise. Too often people give up on their dreams and don't fight for what their heart really wants. My dream reminded me though that I have compromised long enough, and if I still truly desire something it is possible again, if I am willing to work for it. All worthy dreams are work, but worth the work. What my dream was about is not what is important to this post. What I am trying to express in this post is that people should not give up on dreams. Dreams are important to a person's happiness and what is truly in someone's heart. Giving up on your dreams can make you bitter and resentful. While some people seem to thrive on unhappiness, I am betting that most people would prefer a happy, peaceful and loving life.
Now that i have again admitted that I once had a dream here is something I must do about it. I don't really believe in new years resolutions, mostly because people make them and then don't follow through with them. This year, however, I would like to make a life resolution to always attempt to follow my dreams and do my best to make my dreams come true. I am also not going to wait until January first to start working on my dream, or planning out how I need to go about achieving this long lost dream.
Now in the spirit of the season, I wish everyone happy holidays, merry Christmas, happy Chanukah, kwanza, Yule, and any other holiday that you practice this time of year if I forgot one. Please remember to treat each other with respect, especially yourself. It is important to always give attention to your own desires, wishes, and needs, especially during the holidays.

Marshmallowy Goodness

It occurs to me that I have not posted to my blog since before Halloween.  Halloween did not seem as big a deal this year as it was last year.  There was no mob about, just a few families here and there.  We brought home way to much candy, but we always do, and there were no other green lanterns out. 

Now that Halloween is over, my food focus has switched to thanksgiving and Christmas.  I work every thanksgiving, so I don't usually stress having to have a big meal, but I do try and have a small "thanksgiving" meal with my family on a day other than thanksgiving.  This meal usually consists of ham, green bean casserole and sweet potato casserole, not exactly the healthiest of meals.  With my new year of weight-loss, however, I'm sure I can make it healthier, at least the green bean and sweet potato casseroles.  I will post the recipes to the recipe page.  For the green been casserole it is simply a matter of changing ingredients, but for the sweet potato casserole, I have actually found a baked sweet potato recipe that puts the casserole inside the potato skin.  I have already tried this recipe and I can say confidently that it is the best substitute for someone that is watching their weight, but still wants to join in the eating fun of the holidays. 

Maybe it is because I have only ever eaten sweet potatoes in the traditional sugary, buttery, marshmallowy casserole that is standard fare for thanksgiving and Christmas, but I never knew sweet potatoes helped in digestion.  A sweet potato, even though called a potato, is more like a squash.  It has the vitamin and mineral content that you can find in a fall and winter squash, like pumpkin and acorn squash, without the super starch content of a regular white potato.  After eating the twice baked sweet potatoes I did not have the usual lump in the gut feeling I get after eating the sweet potato casserole with all of its greasy sugary goodness.  So look at my recipe page and try the potatoes in place of the casserole for a healthier thanksgiving and Christmas.  If you feel a need to have the marshmallows then put a few on top, but try to resist because they are healthier without.  Sweet potatoes really do have a wonderful flavor all their own, but too many people miss out on it because they load them down with junk every year.

Halloween Fun

What is it about Halloween that makes us all want to act like children with an inappropriate button? I'm sure Freud would have something to say regarding our true inner feelings and how we only feel secure enough to express them during Halloween because we know we will not be judged by the others that stepped out of the closet for the day as well.

On my way home from work the other day I drove down the strip and saw a parade of costumed individuals. Among them Gumby, Santa, a group of scantily clad girls that would be mistaken for street walkers on any other day of the year, and a gaggle of fairy boys. These fairy boys were not the kind you would find in your garden, but the kind with frilly tutus and ballet shoes. It occurred to me at this point that this is the one day of the year when we feel free to express ourselves without worrying about whether or not we are conforming to the latest fashions or ideals. We act unusual and crazy, the crazier sometimes the better, because we are given the mask of Halloween. I put on my mask on Halloween and I can be any character I want and play any part that I want. Tomorrow life will go back to normal, but it doesn't matter because anything that happens on Halloween is instantly transformed into an awesome experience due to its association with Halloween. Any discussions about the costumes or the persona taken on by an individual during Halloween usually involve the world "cool." There is no judgement here.

Last year I went out as Harley Quinn, Joker's girlfriend that wears a red and black striped kind of jester circus costume. During the last half of our trick-or-treat walk we noticed that a guy walking the same route was also in a red and black striped costume that looked like an evil jester. I wonder if this year there will be any other green lanterns? I would not be surprised since the movie was recently released.

Halloween is the best holiday ever.

Children Left Behind

Test #3 is coming up this next Monday for my biology class. I plan on getting another A of course, but I find myself losing steam quicker than during the past semesters. I am not losing the desire to go after my nursing degree, but I am waiting for the day that this semester ends. I am going to blame it on my communications class. I am enjoying my communications class and have 100% in the class, so it isn't like I'm disappointed in my grade. I do, however, have a disappointment in our nation's educational system. I am part of generation X, so some of my knowledge does follow along the lines of "old school." It seems that since I was in high school the knowledge that kids enter into college with has diminished, by quite a bit.

I have a group project due in my communications class that requires that all members write a portion of the paper. This has led me to the conclusion that 2 of my group members are about 2 steps away from being illiterate. How does this benefit the student, much less society, if we allow our children to progress in school when they don't even possess the basic skills required to put a sentence together?

A couple of years ago a new rule came out regarding the format used when writing an essay or paper; after a sentence a person no longer has to put two spaces after a period, but can now only put one if they feel like it. The old school rule of two spaces is still accepted, however, the student now has the option of only placing one space. We are teaching our children that if the majority is lazy enough others will give in and the lazy way will become acceptable. Maybe one day Ebonics will be taught as an actual language as well. If you notice I have placed two spaces after everyone of my sentences, unless I made a mistake that my lazy-man's autocorrect did not catch because one space is acceptable. I refuse to give in to the lazy one space, and yes sometimes I even curse my autocorrect feature for not allowing me to fix my own misspelled words. As a nation we should be trying to bring the people to the standard, not the standard to the people (a phrase that I have taken from the growing kids classes).

If a child can not form a proper sentence they should be left behind. If a child can not add two numbers together, regardless of the number of digits, they should be left behind. If a child can not speak in proper sentences and not just the local slang, they should be left behind. This does not require that a child be a genius or prodigy, or even have the ability to get straight A's. This does require, however, that our children have the basic skills necessary to succeed in a growing and progressing world.

So delicious

I suppose it has been long enough since I posted last.  I have been so busy with school that I haven't had much time for anything other than studying.  Between making a million flashcards to get A's on my Biology tests and trying to cope with the fact that more than half of my communications group is illiterate, I haven't had much time to just sit down and relax.  Today is my half relaxation day though.  I have still been doing homework and cleaning, but I feel like I have been able to go at my own pace, with plenty of time left in the day.
 
I'm still sticking with my good eating habits and exercising as much as I can.  A friend and I are even going to a belly dancing class that just started Monday.  I finally made the chicken pot pie casserole that I had been planning.  It turned out pretty good and now we have leftovers for a week now.  I have split pea soup planned again for Thursday because that was too good to go without for long.  While focusing on eating healthy in hopes that I will continue to lose weight I have been wanting dessert, naturally.  There are of course the desserts of fruit that I could eat, like apples sauté in butter with cinnamon and stevia sprinkled on top, but the whole point of me putting my thoughts in these posts is an attempt to discover a new way to cook the same old meals in a healthier way.  I strive for a balance between healthy, yummy, and a variety in all things I eat, this includes desserts.  So my hunt for a healthy dessert took me to the frozen dessert section in the grocery store.  I found the richest ice cream in the world, SO Delicious Coconut Milk ice cream.  Instead of being made with cream it is made with coconut milk, which makes it super creamy and a hint of coconut flavor, but not enough for those that may dislike coconut.  The saturated fat is pretty high, but it is coconut fat instead of animal fat.  Then there is the fact that this ice cream is completely organic.  I have only tried the mint chip and chocolate, but for now those are good enough for me on occasion.  If you are worried about the saturated fat levels then there are always the soy milk versions of this ice cream.

Zumba Fun

So I finally made the chili recipe that I placed on my recipes page and I'm a little disappointed. I usually make my chili from scratch, raw beans and all, but I am trying to plan my menu around foods that are very simple to make in order to keep myself away from foods I shouldn't be eating. The chili turned out more like soup though, but i had also not used pork roast in the past. I normally use lean ground beef that does not add much liquid to the chili, along with the raw beans that absorb any liquid in the pan, while creates a nice thick chili.

The foods that I have added to my menu along with exercising on a daily basis are definitely working for me. I have lost all the pounds that I gained at the Renaissance Faire. Hopefully this weight loss can keep going. Along with my regular exercise routine, I have tried Zumba. I am now a fan. I didn't start with the disc with the steps broken down, but I would recommend that to someone that may have trouble picking up steps quickly. I went straight to one of the 30 min workouts to try it and see if it would become a regular for me. It was definitely easier on my joints than my regular Bollywood workout, which has a fair amount of jumping around. While my heart rate did not elevate as much as it does with the Bollywood workout, I did work up a sweat. I wasn't sure that I got much of a workout until the next day. My back muscles were all kinds of sore, a good sore. Now I may need to go back and forth between the Zumba and the Bollywood workouts as my main cardio. Maybe if I do the 60 min Zumba workout my heart rate will elevate enough for a good cardio workout along with the muscle workout that it gives.

The foods that I have been making have left us with so many leftovers that I haven't had to cook that much lately, but today I am going to make a dish I like to call Bacon and Ham Wrapped Chicken, which I have placed on my recipes page. I would normally make this dish with a side of rice for the sauce that I'd created, but today I am making cauliflower, the healthier choice. I haven't decided what I am making next week, but I am thinking of Crust Less Pot Pie and some more Split Pea Soup. The Crust Less Pot Pie will present a problem. The best part of a pot pie is the buttery flaky crust. I even save the crust for last so that I can savor just the flavor of the crust. My version will probably need to be turned into a casserole with cheese, but I will have to think on it for a bit. Everything is better with cheese.